Even crawling is moving forward.

When you left the second time around, i didn't know what to do with myself. I was broken, hopeless, hurt, cold, scared, depressed... I just wanted you back. I would unfriend you from Facebook and msn hoping that you'd miss me, or that something in your stupid brain would click and you'd want me again. I would spend my days just sitting in my room, thoughts running through my mind like a busy highway. I would just cry, and cry, and cry. And just when time had passed and i was finally getting better, something would set me off and i'd pour my heart out. And then i would move on again, and then i would relapse and dream of you. And then i would get hurt and move on again, and then something would set me off two months later and i'd be back to talking to you. I was pathetic, i'll be the first to admit it. But a broken heart makes you do unthinkable things. It makes you crazy. For the longest time, i just felt broken. That's the only way to describe it. I wanted to give up on my life, on my heart, on love, on men. I would go out, have too many drinks, be with guys, lead them on, play with their heads... just to get back in some way, even if it wasn't directly to you. I wanted to be heartless. I truly felt like I would never feel for another man the way i felt for you, so why even bother trying? I felt like a zombie. Actually, i just felt nothing at all. You were moving on with your life. You were now a stranger. You were happy without me. And time just slowed down for me.

It's been 8 months since you left me. It's been a month and a half since my last relapse over you. I'm finally getting the cue to move on. My heart is finally getting tired of beating in hopes that you'll come back. My mind is finally tired of replaying memories and haunting me with dreams. My fingers are finally tired of typing out your phone number. My lips are finally tired of craving yours. I'm getting there. Slowly but surely, time is crawling on, but even crawling is moving forward.

The world just chew her up, and spat her out

What if you stopped doing things that tear us even more apart? It would be nice to feel the peace and love between us again, if you don't mind.

It won't be long

It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah

It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah
'Til I belong to you.

Every night, when everybody has fun,
Here am I sitting all on my own,

It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah
'Til I belong to you.

Since you left me I'm so alone,
Now you're coming, you're coming on home,
I'll be good like I know I should,
You're coming home, you're coming home.

Every night the tears come down from my eyes,
Every day I've done nothing but cry.

It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah
'Til I belong to you.

Since you left me I'm so alone,
Now you're coming, you're coming on home,
I'll be good like I know I should,
You're coming home, you're coming home.

Every day we'll be happy, I know,
Now I know that you won't leave me no more.

It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah, yeah, yeah
It won't be long yeah

'Til I belong to you.

rescue me or bury me

Summer nights, such lonely times.
This memory does bleed, I need you in my life again.
Fantasies release me from the bondage of my fate.
The days pass like the falling rain,
your eyes reflect like mirrors the beauty in your soul.
But anger shatters precious glass.

Can't you recall the intimate secrets that we truly shared? The faith and trust we swore would always last?

I only have myself to blame (you know it takes my breath away to see you cry)
To love i implore, i scream in the air claw at my chest,
rip out my hair, embrace me or let my spririt die.
Rescue me or bury me,
rescue me or bury me.

Time is like a prison cell for those whose crime is loneliness when freedom's banging at their door
When all has been said and done, you must decide.

Swallow your pride,
and reach out
and take these hands forevermore.
Rescue me or bury me,
rescue me or bury me.

a certain love

She found a certain love with him.
A grateful love, a deep but quiet love.
One that she knew, above all else, was irreplaceable.

(I hope you feel the same).

You’re probably thinking I’ve forgotten all about you by now, but that’s far from it. I have missed you every waking day, and my heart still hurts, but I’m getting better. I continue to smile and still go on without you. I know I have missed you, but I have kept it all inside me, only for me to know. I still wonder about your doings, how you are, what you’re doing, what we used to talk about, to laugh in your voice. Just everything. I miss it all. However, I feel that destiny will put us into a crossing road in the future, and that is when I will see you again. Until then, remember this: no matter what, even through the screaming fights, the disagreements, mistakes and the tears we’ve cried, never, ever did I give up on you. So if you ever need a helping hand, do not hesitate to ask. I may be far away, but I will always be in reach.

Don't stop dreaming because there is no wrong in wanting something more.

Time is going by, so much faster than I, and I am starting to regret not spending all of it with you. Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside, so I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you. So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know. You're never gonna be alone from this moment on. If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall. You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you till the hurt is gone (I know I've failed before). And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands, cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you.